Vacation time and Air travel- a Perfect Match

I'm thinking about flying to a tropical paradise for a bit of a vacation. It's about time to sit under a palm tree, on a beach, and sip drinks with tiny umbrellas in them for a week or two. And maybe watch some female humans walk around in skimpy swim suits ... or less. Or maybe I'll go to the mountains. Hmmm.

As much as I enjoy vacations, getting there is half the fun. Well, 10%, at least. Air travel is always great. The suborbital flights and near-Earth shuttles, especially so.

Of course, flying means I need to buy some more frangible ammunition. It isn't required, but in case the unthinkable happens I really don't wish to pay the airline for .45 caliber holes in the aircraft skin.

I think there are still a couple of airlines who forbid guns to their passengers (although I don't know of any who still ban knives on flights). Not that I'd ever consider doing business with any of those. Sure, they have all the best security, but no "security" will ever beat self-responsible passengers and crew.

Living as I do on "Anarchist Standard Time" I generally end up running through the gate at the last possible second- tossing my luggage at the nearest luggage handler (hoping he puts it on the right plane), and sometimes paying the ticket collector onboard instead of buying a ticket at the counter. Yes, it costs a bit more that way, but I can never seem to be on time. I suppose I prefer that to the alternative of waiting around for my flight.

Although, on the occasions where I have missed the flight I intended to take (yes, it happens), I do enjoy browsing around the airport shops. I picked up an old, but very nice, Tommy Gun for a great price at an airport gun shop once. It seems a traveler was short on cash, so he traded for a cheaper carry piece and pocketed the difference, and I (and the gun shop) both made out like bandits on that deal. I never get my ammo at the airport, though. Airport ammo prices are notoriously high.

The liquor/narcotics/hemp shops in the airport are also popular with those who have an irrational fear of flying- if they didn't come prepared. Some things just go together like peaches and cream, and the airports and airlines recognize that.

I've heard that air travel wasn't always so nice, "back in the day". It's hard to imagine.

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